Monday, February 27, 2006

DAMN!

I just broke one of Kaela's Masai spears! Oh bugger bugger feck, it just snapped when I was adjusting the grip of her paws. And I have no superglue. I have only PVA, and that is malleable.

FECK!

.....

........

What the hell am I on? PVA fixes everything. Everyone knows this is my motto. Well they should do anyway, because PVA does fix everything! PVA fixes clothes, it fixes books, it fixes werewolves, it even fixes bone. I have done all of these.

The PVA shall get me through this tough time! I will stick that damned spear back together.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Joke

Husband Super Store

Recently a 'Husband Super Store' opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.

A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands...

First floorThe door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.

Second floor

The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"

Third floor

This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went.

Fourth floor

This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on!" So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth floor

The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are f*cking impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs."

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Oh my head

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Vocal chords are not a right, they are a privilege. And some people should not be allowed that privilege.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Music

Students should not be allowed access to loud speakers. I can hear Maroon Five (they suck, by the way) Prodigy (they're good, but I don't want to hear them from YOU) and some unidentifiable non stop bass from god knows where. All this is through at least two doors, and possibly through walls too.

If I put a glass of water down on the floor, it would vibrate like in Jurassic Park.

There's a reason I have headphones, you insensitive fucks. So that whenever I feel like blowing my head off with dangerously loud music, I can do it without pissing off everyone within a three mile radius. You do it all day, and you do it all night too. I want to work/relax during the day, and I want to sleep at night. I rarely do any of these, but that's not the point. I will say it again. You insensitive fucks. Don't you have any idea how much you annoy people?

Stop blaring your music through my door and yours. Wear headphones instead. Is that too much to ask that you give a shit about other people's sanity? Would you invade my personal space? No. Then why the hell are you invading my personal sound space? This is my bedroom. Ergo, I have NOWHERE ELSE TO GO in order to get away from it.

Noise pollution is a real serious stress causer. Especially prolonged or uncontrollable noise pollution. So much in fact, that we study how much noise pollution causes stress and stress related illnesses. It's a Key Topic. That says something.

I hate inconsiderate people. I hate people who stand outside your door and shout all day. (and I mean, all day, and all night...) I don't care if it's the culture in the country you come from, I don't care if you are a naturally loud and vocal and extroverted nationality, we're not in your country, you're in MY country now, you will either shut the hell up or at least turn down the decibels. I am sick of hearing all the people you let into my goddamned flat screaming at each other with laughter all night.

It wouldn't be so bad if I did stuff to them and they were getting their own back. I do nothing to them. I am quiet as a mouse, rarely leave my room, respect the fact that silence is preferable at nighttime, and never leave mess of any kind in the goddamn social areas.

And I'm in the shittiest mood ever and my best friend is out of the country so I can't call her and complain...

I hate my flat. Go and contract laryngitis, you noisy unwelcome fuckers. Or go back to your own noisy country. I'd like that.

Yes I sound like a xenophobe. It happens when 95% of all the people who give you aggro, are foriegn.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

What the Gif Said

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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Sleep Deprivation and South Park

It's me as a South Park character. That's just cute.

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And if that, right there, is not an indication of how much I need to sleep, then I don't know what is.

I need my bed.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Quote for the Day

Quote for the day

"I don't know what any of them mean, but it is fun to play about with the pretty
colours."

- Rhiannon, concerning the functions on her computer. Bless.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Owch

I have stuff to say but I don't care...I want to write it, but there's too much of it. Mostly I am sick of the amount of homophobia in the world, and this country, when you pay attention, you will see that it comes in more forms than you can count.

...but I don't have the energy to write about it right now. It's too horrible.

My shoulder hurts like fuck, I did something stupid this morning, which was, to rotate it three times *shock horror! What was I thinking!* and now it feels like I have dislocated it again. It's crunching and snapping and grinding in it's socket and I can barely move it...furthermore, I have a tootheache again, and I cannot rely on painkillers forever. I am going to have to travel all the way home, and see if I can get anything done about it...not that to go and have painful crap done to your teeth is much incentive to buy a coach ticket that costs £26, sit on a coach for seven hours, get home, be miserable, fight to get an appointment with the dentist, and then go and enjoy pain.

....I don't wanna. There is no good in that scenario.

But my tooth does hurt, and everyone knows that tooth pain can reduce grown men to tears. It's not very nice.

Nor is the snapcrunchcrackpopcrunchcrunchgrindchhhcchhhhhh noise that my shoulder is making. I shall never move it again.It's not like I really need my right arm, anyway. I've got another arm attached, I'm practical like that. In fact, if I was actually wondering around with a broken shoulder, I would not be surprised. It feels that way, and it sounds it too.

[emo]I am just a big ball of pain.[/emo]

I am going to go and sleep.

Bunny

This is Bunny.

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Once you take your eyes off bunny, you invoke a powerful curse that has already claimed the lives of many poor souls.......You took your eyes off him, didn't you? I know you did, you're reading this, don't lie to me.If you do not make a copy of bunny, and show it to one person, before seven days is up, you will die. Bunny will come for you. Bunny will take you away. To where? Who knows? For none have ever returned.

riiiiiiiiiiiiinngg!! riiiiiiiiiiiinngg!!

*whispers* ......seven......days....rrccchhrrrccchhhhhhhhhhhhhh

.....

...

..

.

Quote for the Day

Quote for the day -

"C'mon, let's face it, if I didn't try to mindfuck you, then you'd be
worried."

Penny Bhogal, 4.03 am

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Tolkien Rant

If I see, just one. More. Person. Write a book review, about any fantasy novel who then proceeds to compare the book to Tolkien, I am, in fact, you going to kill all you bastards. Yes, even you.

If a book is published into the fantasty genre, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, compares it to Tolkien.

If the book is similar to Tolkien, they say it is a rip off. If it is different to Tolkien, they say it is not as good as Tolkien.

....

I hate you all.

I have news for you. Tolkien sucks. You need to accept this. Tolkien is boring, long winded, dull, boring, langweilig, boring, sophorific, boring, and distincly, not special. LOTR made a pretty film. That is all. The book is dull. The Hobbit orginated as a story that Tolkien read to his children as a bedtime story. So was Farmer Giles. For anyone not residing on this planet, a bedtime story is something that you read to your children to make them fall asleep.

Do you catch my drift yet?

And let's not even talk about The Silmarilion. Oh. My. God. We don't need to know every single little detail about every elf's family tree, spanning back four thousand years, before we can move on with the story. Just name the goddamned character and then move on.

Tolkien is boring. And always will be boring. And, most of all (listen closely you muppets) TOLKIEN IS NOT A TEMPLATE FOR FANTASY. If he was, fantasy would not be as good. If Tolkien invented elves and dwarves and orcs, then I'm a damned fairy. Next time you hear a person declare that the Urgals of Eragon are a rip off of the Orcs of LOTR, kindly deck them immediately, and once they regain consciousness, inform them that Tolkien based his orcs on a race in another story written before LOTR. And that story probably didn't invent them, either, and furthermore, the concept of 'big brutish muscled unintelligent shock troops' is copyrighted and owned by no one.

The lesson? NOTHING IN FANTASY IS ORIGINAL OR OWNED BY ANYONE.

Stop comparing Pullman to Tolkien. Stop comparing Trudi Canavan to Tolkien. Stop comparing Christopher Paolini, JK Rowling, Anne McCaffrey, Rosemary Sutcliff, CS Lewis, Brian Jacques, Lewis Caroll, and every bloody Tom, Dick, and Frodo -

Stoppit stoppit stoppit stoppit!!

My message for today, is:

STOP COMPARING EVERYTHING IN BOOK FORMAT TO TOLKIEN YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER n00bs

Saturday, February 04, 2006

My responses from stuff

I get some quite good responses to my drawings, every now and then, and I record the best ones. And by record, I mean, I make a slightly more than average attempt to remember them. Yeah I am too lazy to make an actual note...I need minions for that sort of labour.

So in order of awesomeness, here are my top three responses that I recieved upon shpwing people my drawings so far.

Number Three -

"That leopard is turning into a sketched orgasm." - concerning my big buff muscled leopard man that I am drawing.

Number Two -

*screams* - Yes, yes, I made someone scream. No really. I feel slightly bad, actually. How was I to know that she actually had a deep dark mortal phobia of the Grim Reaper, before I grabbed her elbow and waved my really detailed drawing of the Grim Reaper in her face?? Honestly! She should tell me these things.

Aaaand Number One -

"She looks like a Disney fox. But on herion." - the comment I got about my drawing of a rather cool female werewolf. Sure she looked a bit haggard and tired and could possibly look like she was on herion...yet she also looked Disneyish. Love the contrast.

Hahaha

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Which cat ate your Prozac?

Thursday, February 02, 2006

WEEEEREWWOOOOOLLLLVVVESSSSS

You know how when you love something so much, some aspect of art or culture in general, you just want to make it known to the world? That is what I want to do. Feel free to run away screaming now, I won’t be offended. I’ll just lock the door next time.

I wanted to natter on, again, but this time properly, about Tatopoulos and his studios. Or more specifically, them there werewolfers. And how much I love them.

Tatopoulos Studios, are a special effects company, and I think the second best in the entire world. Or possibly first best…you know what I mean, the point is, don’t get me started, or I shall dather all day. He has done work on films such as Godzilla, he made the Godzilla babies, Silent Hill, Independence Day, Stuart Little, (possibly the only cute work he has done) and among other things, those amazing amazing technological masterpieces that were the robots in I Robot.

This is Patrick. Say hello to Patrick.

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Hi Patrick! *waves*

Look here if you are interested.

http://www.tatopoulosstudios.net/mainpage.html

But later! For now, werewolves. Tatopoulos's best work.

These werewolves are, I think, the best piece of art, in the whole world. Ever. Screw all this stuff you see in museums, nah, that's got nothing on Mr Tatopoulos. Why are these werewolves worthy of such adulation? I shall tell you why, pull up a cushion. No talking while the crazy lady rambles, please.

If you were to look closely, anyone would find, that these werewolves in Underworld, are internally almost as complex as a living organism.

Before the suit is made, comes the concept art, which is quite pretty. See the werewolves are slightly catlike in their appearance, but unmistakable werewolves? I like that. Almost all werewolves in film, look like wolves, and it is nice to see something more original, that still looks like a werewolf.

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Now for making the suit.

Firstly, they make a full cast of the actor who will play them, by covering them entirely in this white stuff that solidifies, and when they cut it off, they have a complete cast of the actor. They can then take this, in order to use the measurements when they build the costume.

Then, they make a perfectly fitted metal framework, that sits around the actors legs and neck, firstly in order to make him a few feet taller, and secondly, to transform his normal human legs into fully functioning digitigrade anthropomorphic legs.

Observe.

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These, he can actually walk and run and duck and move on. It’s amazing to see him running on these things, they give him massive strides!

Then, they take the body cast and metal framework that they have of him, and with sculpt around it, and create a massive lightweight rubber suit.

Lookie

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This rubber suit fits the actor perfectly, and only him, and is flexible and finely sculpted. I mean seriously, you can see all the muscles, including complex strutures such as the damn hard to get right serratus anterior, as well as all the viens running up and down the arms, and oh so many muscles, all over the body, and tendons and allsorts, they are so detailed that you have to pause things in order to take it in. It’s just astounding. Work of art.

And then, they paint and airbrush the suit, giving it the darkened skin and texture that you see in the film. These werewolves have dark skin.

And then they put the fur on. Now Len Wiseman (director of the film and Kate Beckinsale’s husband) said that he did not want werewolves that were incredibly hairy, because, he had seen so many werewolves in film that looked awesome, until then they put the fur on and ruined it by obscuring or concealing altogether the muscles and stuff. So, these werewolves do have fur, but not much. On their arms, and head, and running down their back, which I think looks rather cool.

Also worth a mention, is the fact that they put in each-individual-hair-by-hand. They have a guy sit there and punch each one in with a needle. It’s Yak’s hair, I think. Wow…

Okay, so we have the actor, skeleton, suit, and fur. What about the head?

I mean the fantastically ornate anamatronic werewolf head. I don’t actually have any decent pictures, except this one

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This anamatronic structure, is controlled by two other people with remote controls. All the wires and….electronic stuff that I don’t understand, is compact enough to sit, strapped to the back of the actor, and the werewolf is massive enough to accommodate it easily. And over the top of the anamatronic head, is the flexible rubber head, which I think has a fantastic expression.

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When put together, this head sits on top of the actors own head. This, combined with the stilts, adds a few extra feet of height, making your traditional tall werewolf. The face, you really need to see moving, to be in awe of it. But you should be. In awe I mean. This wolfer is capable of a shocking amount of brilliant facial expressions, there is the traditional variations on growling, then there is yawning, roaring, blinking, looking around, twitching his nose, scowling, sniffing, moving his eyebrows, and so much more.

Once you put the stilts, suit, fur, and the head on the actor, he can still not only move, jump, run, duck, swipe, roar, sit down, fall over, and be harnessed to wires, but, he can even run along walls. Yup.

You know the scene in which Selene is in Michael's apartment building, and the werewolves start running along the walls towards her, defying gravity as they do so? They were no CG werewolves, even though they look it. They were the men in suits, being held against the wall, by wirework. And they defy gravity and look like CG, when they are actually real. How amazing is that?

Time for the happiness that is werewolf spammage.

"Growr!"

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"ROAR!!"

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"Miscellaneous werewolf sound."

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Wcchh Chhssssssssss!!

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I want one I want one I want one I want one I want one

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Werewolves in film are so misunderstood. They try to eat your face, because they care.

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OoooOOOooOOooooooo

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Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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OoooOOOOOoooooOOOO

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Look, just...Loookk!! It's a guy in a suit. Can you believe it??

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Showdown! Look at that scowl Selene's got. She's like, "Bring it, poodle!"

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"Oh, shit...."

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Yes, contrary to popular belief, it is the werewolves who rule, while the vampires, in fact, drool.

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Now for some candids

Awww...love at first bite

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^ Don't blame me, that HAD to be done




"So then I said to Len, you want your parking space back? Bite me!"

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These werewolves can actually walk down the street, and people roar at people, unlike the pretty non existant CG wolves in films like Van Helsing and An American Werewolf in Paris. Although I love those wolfers, a lot, you can't touch them. They don't exist. Underworld wolves were made by artists, whereas Van Helsing wolves, were made more by computer experts, I think. Material versus pixels.

I also admire the transformation sequence. Truth be told, I am a werewolf obsessive, (nah, really? Get out! ) and I cannot remember how many books I have read, and films I have acquired just so that I can watch the transformation scenes. I refuse to go into an essay comparing all the differing transformation scenes that I have seen and analysed, because to be honest, my fingers cannot take typing it all! But I like the Underwolrd transformation more than any of the dozens of others that I know of, in film, and literature. I love the way in which the bones crack and the beast bulges and cracks it's way out of the man in such a noisy, grotesque, and ugly fashion. It just seems more realistic than any other, including the flashy pretty daft animation seen in Van Helsing.

I also admire the storyline. If you were to actually read the fantastic standalone novel, which explains the film in more detail, and then beyond that, you would realise that it is quite a complex intricate, and most of all, original story. It features plotlines and twists concerning genetics that would baffle your brain if you blinked, and also, so many subplots not seen in the film. Including one that borders on the idea of reincarnation, and destiny. It is just...masterful.

And this is not mentioning the beautiful lead actress, the brilliant wardrobe, the amazing soundtrack, and the other special effects masterpeices that walk around, such as the Micheal wolf/vamp hybrid and Viktor and his gradual finely detailed regeneration process. I have not even mentioned the work that Tatopoulos did on these two, not have I mentioned the work he did on the second film! Because, I, uh, haven’t seen it. *sniffs* Like, I understand that Marcus is a really big bat nowadays, and Michael is still his blue hybrid wotsit and there are werewolves involved, including a big albino one, the very first werewolf. *sniffs again* I wanna see it...

The only thing that I did not like, about this film, was the fact that they put so so much effort into werewolves that should not be hidden, and then they went and obscured them by shadows and rapidly alternating camera angles, so that you could not see them for more than a few seconds! Did you just see all the detail I went into, describing them? And you don’t see them for more than a few seconds! My, that is actually a crime, that is. If you were to watch all the behind the scenes shots, where you see the werewolves being tested for the camera, you would see that there is no reason at all to not show them off like the works of art they are.

In most films, they obscure the werewolves because, the werewolves are not very good...so they rely on the imagination of the viewer. I am so annoyed that they did this in the film, when I know for a fact how quality they were!

Uh, I should stop now before someone lapses into a coma or I get repetitive strain syndrome in my fingers. Or both, I’m an overachiever.

So, uh, in conclusion, oi loikes them thurr wolfers, I does.

You can commence adulation now. Adore, damn thee, adore!