Friday, March 10, 2006

I Love Dogs

I had another random thought about my dog today, I miss her.

Like the ickiness that is of playing with a tennis ball that is slick with drool. Or having to prise the slick with drool tennis ball out of your dog's mouth, because they think it's far more fun to make you wrench it out of their jaw then drop it at your feet.Dog hair in your tea, and dog hair in your watch and phone. I have no idea how is got in there!My doggie ate books one time...I was not impressed. And I don't mean, she chewed it up a bit, I mean she ingested three quarters of it.

Has anyone ever had the experience that is when your dog wants to go out, and it's the middle of the night, and you don't want to wait outside in the cold for them? But then they look at you with really big desperate eyes and stick their nose to the door, so you really don't have a lot of choice...
So you let them out, and then stand in the doorway of your back door and huddle and freeze your arse off while shouting and cursing. There is no "Come on, be a good puppy, make a puddle."

No, it is far more obscene. It's more like:

Me, shivering and freezing in the doorway while my dog is off in the darkness of the garden somewhere: "Molly. Hurry up, it's cold. "

*silence for ten seconds*

Me: Molly? I know you heard me, I know you're not deaf, you always respond to the word 'feed'. I know you can hear me, mutt.

*silence for fifteen seconds*

"Molly! Come back right now!"



*snuffle snuffle snort chew*

"Oh don't you be eating grass again you blasted pooch, I already fed you.

I'm cold and I want to go to bed. Come back here right this instant!"


"Oh for god's sake...*

And sometimes, if she was out there for like five minutes, the language got a bit worse. I won't repeat.

I love dogs.


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