Wednesday, April 19, 2006

A Fight to the Death.

Gene Wilder vs. Jonny Depp. Let the Battle of the Willys commence.



"I can take a sunrise and sprinkle it with dew."

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"So? I'm an amazing chocolatier."

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"Yeah? Well my Oompah Loompahs are all little people with orange faces and green hair."

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"Well my Oompah Loompahs are all creepy 30 inch exact replicas of Deep Roy."

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"Well my Charlie is all stoic. And his lip trembles. AND his jumper isn't fugly."

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"Well my Charlie's got big brown eyes. And they go all doey when he's sad. And his jumper is not fugly!"

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"Well MY Grandpa doesn't look like a tortoise."

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"Oh no you did not!"





"I taught the children the importance of honesty and respecting your friend's secrets."

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"So? I dealt with father issues."

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"At least I don't look like Michael Jackson."

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". . . ."

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"MUMBLER!"

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"At least I didn't rely on cheap sexual innuendos to get laughs out of the audience."

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"Are you dissing my nuts?"

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"I've got Christopher Lee and Helena Bonham Carter."

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"So you've got a wizard and a monkey. Oooo I'm shaking.

Who cares? I'm GENE WILDER!"

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"And I'm Jonny Depp. And I have fangirls."

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"...dammit."

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45 Comments:

Blogger Nicole said...

LOL! =)

I must say, I much prefer Depp's supporting cast.

And the squirrels.

7:32 pm  
Blogger Charlie said...

I did leave a comment, but it seems to have disappeared. *is sad* It was a good comment, I also mentioned the amazing squirrels and how scary they were and much better than the geese, though geese are scary (childhood trauma). And that I thought Johnny Depp was amazing, and that at times they were quoting from the book. And: Tim Burton, 'nuff said.

5:26 pm  
Anonymous foo said...

That was hilarious Raevyn. I'll take Depp anyday.

5:19 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry guys, there was nothing sinister about depp... That was the worst performance of his career. And yes, I include 21 jump street. Gene wilder not only looked like willy wonka, in the wonderful original illustrations, but he had a disturbing quality about him that far surpased the cheap tricks Tim Burton used.

2:20 am  
Anonymous Anthony said...

Hey, you can't just discount other people's opinions.

The two movies were good in their own way. Yes, Tim Burton is a jackass who's direction has never been all that great, but the dark nature of all of his films gained him a following. Everyone has to agree on one thing: The 2005 release of 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' was a way for Hollywood to suck more money from everyone. They didn't NEED to remake Willy Wonka, they wanted more money.

Wilder is an amazing actor and in many ways can never be surpassed.

Depp is also an amazing actor, but I'm sure even he would agree his portrayal of Willy Wonka is a tribute to Wilder.

8:10 am  
Blogger The Raevyn said...

Although I can agree that some of his earlier films had iffy directing (like Edward Scissorhands) I rather think that Burton hit the nail on the head with this remake. I for one am quite glad they did it, I enjoyed it very much. I loved the original, but I loved the newer version more.

8:17 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wilder all the way. I love Depp but that does mean he is great in anything. Wilder was a less corporate production.

6:10 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ROFL. omfg i love it. hmmm... i say neither one is better they are both awesome hahahaha.

8:27 pm  
Blogger Tiffany said...

As someone who grew up on the book, I mildly dislike the original, and entirely refuse to watch the remake. There was no need at all...kids should learn to read books every once in a while. In the past five years, MANY of the books I read as a child have been remade into movies, WITHOUT any sort of a reprint or subsequent edition of the novel to encourage more reading as well as enjoying film.

1:09 pm  
Blogger THE BLUEST BUTTERFLY said...

This was funny. Very clever of you to take the time to narrate such a battle. :-)

10:26 pm  
Anonymous Papasan59 said...

I think that both Gene Wilder and Johnny Depp are amazing actors.Gene in young Frankenstein..was there anything funnier?Johhny as Jack Sparrow, Gilbert Grape and Ichabod. The nod for best Willie Wonka has to go to Gene Wilder. Johnny was cast only as a 'draw'. The role was not in his range at all. My kids however, loved it but There's no accounting for taste.

2:10 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

as much as I loathe tim burton, I must afford him the following... he offered the more faithful rendition of the book. I also loathe musical adaptations of... well, anything. However, Gene Wilder is the FAR better actor of the two, I grew up with that, there was no need to make it again, other than tim burton needing more self-flagellation material, and, as I've stated, I loathe tim burton. He's a groupie, helena bonham carter is his wife, and how many movies did he make with johnny depp? who, by the way, will be in sweeny todd, which I will SO go see. whatever, burton's a douche, gebe wilder's a badass.

10:49 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow... Such compelling arguments.I don't know how to like better!

3:34 pm  
Blogger Jessy said...

wilder was a terrible wonka. read the book. depp did a great job of portraying wonka's disdain for children.

10:27 pm  
Blogger Ocarina654 said...

Haha, that's hilarious.
The Depp movie/Wonka was better for cheap thrills, but the Gene Wilder movie/Wonka was better. It had better humor, it was more fantastical, and can really make you feel like a kid again, not matter how old or how many times you've seen it.
The newer movie just doesn't have that magical quality to it so it will forever be slightly inferior.

7:54 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Roald Dahl was very disappointed with the original movie, and Tim Burton's version was a lot more true to the book.

7:47 am  
Blogger F. said...

I found the second movie to be the better one, but Gene's Wonka was way more sinister and disturbing then Depp's. And sinister and disturbing are exactly what a children's book or movie adaption needs. This is said without any irony, just to avoid miscommunication.

3:02 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ARE YOU KIDDING11 I read the books there was no disdain towards children. Plus he was not insane he was merely eccentric. Now calling tim burtons version a truer addaptation of the books is down right hogwash. Lets see they got rid of the original songs which with the Gene Wilder film had the same lyrics as what the book had they replaced the geese with squirrels there was no wonka wash or I believe any fizzy lifting drinks they made wonka appear insane not merely eccentric. For those of you who don't realize it the reason Wilder wore that old style outfit was because he was an eccentric that had shut himself off from society and didn't keep up with the change of fashion and the color gave the appearance of never quite fitting in even then. Now I can accept and understand them changing the fate of his father though that brings up the question of why he didn't bring his father along instead of his grandfather. But other details like switching Mike Teavee from movies to video games and using an exaggeration of the anger problems we supposedly have should have been thrown out before it made it to the storyboard.

11:36 pm  
Blogger autumn said...

johnny wins. hands down. he's too gorgeous to not win. plus, it's a tim burton movie. that is a freakin' insta-win. depp + burton = insta-win. seriously people.

4:15 am  
Anonymous TwilightxSerenade said...

Anonymous who posted at 11:39pm, has no idea what they are talking about.
For one thing, The Squirrels were in the book. It is the original movie that did not stay so true to it.
Before anyone picks apart both the new movie for Wonka's little origin story, there was no origin story written for him, it gives the script writers some liberty.

And by the way, the movie doesn't have to follow the book 100%, its a movie, you want the book, read the book.

I myself agree with Tiffany, books should be read more by children, I myself am one of 3 in my highschool classes who enjoyed reading, that was about 60-70 different teenagers.
That is just a tragedy.


Now I preferred the new movie, but I guess I'm a bit biased, since Gene Wilder scared the ever living crap out of me when I was younger, he's a downright terrifying Wonka.

I still wake up screaming about Gene Wilder.

9:39 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wilder Wins as Wonka

Songs were terrible in new version.
Oompa Loompas sucked in new version.

Really, there's no contest.

Original 4 Life.

6:31 pm  
Anonymous ORIGIANAL 4 LIFE said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wilder Wins as Wonka

Songs were terrible in new version.
Oompa Loompas sucked in new version.

Really, there's no contest.

Original 4 Life.

6:31 PM


i totally agree i love some of johny depps stuff but i thought this was probabbly one of his worst movies.

11:44 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Roald Dahl was an alcoholic who drove Hemingway to suicide. As the second movie made me want to kill myself, I would say it was truer to his writing :)

12:05 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Johnny Depp is a terrible actor.
Sweeney Todd would have been decent if it wasn't for him and HBC.

Why does he keep getting cast? He's terrible.

7:38 am  
Blogger Piper said...

Anonymous,
It is very clear how you feel about Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, but bludgeoning people for their opinion is fascist. You feel how you feel and they feel how they feel. Stop being a jackass and let other people express their opinion in peace.

11:46 am  
Blogger Just Me. said...

I don't care how much the role sucked for Depp. That man eats God and Frosted Flakes for breakfast, just for fun because he doesn't even need food to stay alive. You can't beat Johnny Depp, anywhere, anyhow.

7:54 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there is a generation that grew up on this story and for them willly wonka will always be gene wilder

12:50 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like both movies, both actors, and am terrified of both sets of Oompa Loompas.

Also, how can you hate either actor? They're both good! Besides, people, THERE IS A CHOCOLATE WATERFALL! you cannot possibly hate any movie with a chocolate river in it unless you are diabetic, or just unrelentingly depressing.

7:00 pm  
Blogger The Raevyn said...

Haha! That is a very good point.

2:15 pm  
Blogger wthiem said...

I like Burton & Depp but I really think that the Wilder version was better. I can't forgive Burton for the stupid "father the dentist" scenario. As far as being true to the book, the Wilder version of the boat scene was dead on while the Burton/Depp version was way off.

4:14 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My son Apollo sent me your blog...I love that guy!!!
OK I LOVE the opening scene where everyone of the little people burn to a crisp...and there are some catchy lines in the new one...and I love Depp. But all in all I prefer the one with Wilder. But let's be honest. BOTH movies have merit. Both have lines we will quote in the years ahead. And to be honest my biggest beef with the "new" one is that Violet clothes should have tore...there is NO way clothes just expand to that size. I'm thinking Incredible hulk. I'm just saying.
Great Blog. Thanks!

6:14 am  
Blogger tagnostic said...

Gene Wilder, hands down, burton/depps tacky reach into the cookie jar rates down among the rest of the remakes that never should have been, ie the wiz, nuff said

2:05 pm  
Anonymous LVOWL said...

First off, CATCF is NOT a remake. Its another adaptation of Roald Dahl's book! If you have actually read the book and compared the two movies, the Burton version is a lot closer to the plot and actually incorporates the songs he wrote. Willy Wonka is supposed to be eccentric and spontaneous! Wilder didn't portray that at all, he was calm and reserved, aside from that falling trick at the beginning and his few bipolar outbursts which made him just look unstable(don't get me started on that trippy tunnel..). Depp was continually kooky and embodied eccentric- he gave Wonka life. LoompaLand was an uncharted island and the Oompa Loompas were little pygmy natives and that's exactly what Burton gave us. Of course they're all Deep Roy but c'mon it IS a kids movie- its funny! Painting midgets however, is just sick! Burton also provided a unique back story for Willy which added another dimension to his character and to the story as a whole. Even though, WWATCF will remain the 'classic', CATCF is the better adaptation and in my opinion, the better movie.

6:41 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

From reading the comments it sounds like a very interesting post, I only read the first paragraph though and would like to tell you I arrived here through "www.stumbleupon.com" don't know if it's generating all the traffic you're getting but it may help.

8:43 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're probably getting these mad hits from STUMBLEUPON dude

2:11 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

stumbleupon.com is whats fuking up your shit

5:10 am  
Blogger The Raevyn said...

Thank you! I've fixed it. Hopefully no more blips from now on.

6:05 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And they keep on coming...

Yay for both movies!

However, Wilder will always be Wonka in my eyes, and anyone who says Depp is Wonka was born in the 90s

;P

10:27 pm  
Blogger The Raevyn said...

Haha yeh they do. I never thought I'd have to pay money to keep one of my sites up. Now I'm occasionally insufferable..

3:08 pm  
Blogger Anya said...

I like it!

And as a girl who grew up in the 90s with a looooong term Depp love – as a girl who watched Edward Scissorhands obsessively as a child, and pretty much every other Depp film as an adult, I have to say...

Gene Wilder all the way. No contest.

2:40 am  
Blogger Shel said...

Gotta be Gene Wilder all the way... On VHS too. ^^

8:54 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh god it has to be Gene Wilder all the way.. I like Depp but there can be only one. Wonka I mean. Not highlander.

10:23 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come with me
And you'll be
In a world of
Pure imagination
Take a look
And you'll see
Into your imagination

12:19 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gene Wilder. Depp is nasty. Wilder is a sweetie. I did read the book but I'll always pick Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory over Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. and i was born in the 90s. whoops. false causality.

8:26 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

gene wilder was by far a better willy wonka. there was a depth to his character and his insanity, whereas it seems like the director simply told johnny depp to be weird for an hour and a half.

5:26 am  

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