Monday, April 17, 2006


My brain feels like it's being poked with a thousand external invisible intangible needles that regain their tangibility only the moment they are past my skull and brain fluid.


What's the difference between spearmint, peppermint, and normal mint? It's an intriguing question.

Why'd those damned porters have to go away...I need help. There's no one to reduce the noise that these fuckwads in my flat feel it is their duty to make 24/7, from brain shattering, to merely offensively loud.

Last night I had to bash on my flatmates door three times and he couldn't hear me over his music. Then the third time I went BANG BANG BANG on his door, he shouted something at me in Greek, I am assuming it was "Come in," because he clearly thought I was one of his bastard friends. So I went in and he couldn't see me because he was in his bathroom and I'm not walking into some guy's bathroom. So I stomped out and got his slightly less deaf friend to go in there and switch his music off for him. I am disappinted I didn't get to see him. I was really in the mood to shout and I wanted to give him hell.

There's no one to call to sort them out now. It may be the holidays, but it doesn't mean that there's not still students who are living here who need help.

I hate my flat.

This is actually ridiculous. And it's not just me. Everone I have spoken to in Uni who has people from Greece on their flat suffers from exactly the same thing. Actually, I barely even had to speak to them. It was more of an exchange of nods. You know, like

"So you've got Greek people in your flat, huh?"

*meaningful nod*

*returns meaningful nod*

"Shit. How many?"


"Me too! How many women do they have?"

"Often three, but it can range from two all the way up to five, depending on the weather conditions."

"Oh bad luck. We have two that keep coming back, they are there every night."

*meaningful nod*

*returns meaningful nod*

"Please excuse me, I need to go and find somewhere to cry now."

"Me too."

Perhaps I should explain. Would you like to hear about my, ah, delightful flatmates? I believe I may have mentioned it before. But people from Greece are all loud bastards. They go above and beyond the call of ear shattering.

...everyone here knows what a misfortune it is to have Greek people on your flat, because they all seem to be the same. I even went to explain my problem to the College Residence officer, she looked at the names, saw that they were Greek, and practically said "Say no more." to me. No seriously.

The ones on my flat, like to shout. There are three of them, they seem to be pretty good friends. But what they love to do, is converse with each other in the hallway, day and night. This does not mean that all of them are in the hallway. No. There only needs to be one or two in the hallway, any number of them can be in their rooms, they are that loud their voice just goes straight through closed doors. Sometimes they are nice enough to talk in their rooms. Of course, I can still hear them loud and clear through their door, the hallway, all the way through my door too. To give you an idea, there have been several occasions where I have been talking with a friend in my room, and they have been conversing in their rooms oppostite. My voice, and the voice of my friend, gets drowned out, and we have to either stop talking or shout at each other. They are that loud.

I think it is a cultural thing. This does not make it acceptable. This is England. We don't talk at your volume here. So shut the fuck up or go back to your own country.

Do I sound like a xenophobe? Perhaps. I do not care. I certainly was not even slightly xenophobic before I came to University. Where all of the people who give me hassle are foriegn. It is not just the Greeks who have been complete fucknuckles.

I never knew...I never knew how much noise pollution could depress you so. Imagine if your home, had people outside, shouting at you in a foriegn language, 24/7. Just close your eyes and picture it for a moment. Every time you close your eyes you go to sleep, whether it's day or night, someone shouts in your ear. Every time. And throughout the day, you hear loud foriegn music loud and clear in your bedroom, and you don't have anywhere else to go. It's actually quite homicide inducing. It's depressing. Soon I am plan to develop facial tics and jump at sudden movements. I don't know if it would be any better if I could understand a word of what they are saying. I think I have learned one word, I think it is 'fen.' Here is the context.

*Greek guy one goes up to Greek guy two's door, opposite my room. This could be three in the afternoon, or three in the morning, it does not matter*

"Fen." *bang bang bang*


"FEN!* *bang bang bang*




This goes on for an indiscrimate amount of time before the first guy is permitted entry, or the other does not reply long enough to make the first guy go away.

I will not mention the music. Permit me to say that, if I their music was in English, I would have memorised several albums by now. Nor shall I mention the repeated smoking in a non smoking flat. Hell I don't know what they are smoking but I can smell it through my door and it smells so wrong. Maybe I should not go into the repeated social gatherings which take over all the shared areas of our flat, leaving the few English residents with no where to go, no way that we can even use the facilities that we pay for. Because they are taken over by people who don't even live here.

Oh! They have magical powers. *nods* Oh yes they do. They have develeoped immunity to earplugs. Just the other night, I was trying to sleep, and I heard them playing a game in the hallway. I think they were throwing something at each other. I hope they got hurt. But anyway, I could hear them loud and clear, so I reached for the earplugs I have next to my bed.

...yes I have earplugs next to my bed. This should illustrate my suffering to some extent. Anyway, I put them in. I hate wearing them. They are rough and scratchy and humans are not supposed to endure prolonged amounts of time with orange expanding foam in their ear canals. It is highly uncomfortable. But anyway, I rolled over, went back to sleep and...realised I couldn't. I could hear them through my door, and through my earplugs. Which were in very firmly (I have practice). This is just all kinds of wrong.

Perhaps I should mention the NBs. If I speak to you often, you will probably know what an NB is already. NB is an abbreviated term for noisy bitch. Oh yes, these Greeks have women. Are they noisier than they are? It's a tough one to call. I have developed two handy nicknames for these women. 'The Nasal One.' and 'The Other One.'

The Nasal One. 20 - 25/F/5"4'/Greek. Likes to hang around in our flat in her spare time. Enjoys - shouting, screaming, pressing buzzer to our flat repeatedly like an OCD child with a long attention span. Seeks companion for shouting, screaming, generally being nasal, and perhaps something more. Loud voice is a must. Favourite sayings:




The Other One - Like The Nasal One. Only less nasal.

What makes it so bad, and makes these women utterly deserving of the scathing remarks I am delivering, is the fact that they don't even live here yet they inconvenience me to the point of my wanting to jump out of my own window to escape their voices. Fortunately my window does not open that far. So I am as yet uninjured.

If anyone has ever commited murder and has gotton away with it, please email me with details as to how. no, I am serious. Oh god please do. I am living in a box full of non stop noise day and night and there is nothing to do now except kill people.

Peppermint tastes green. Spearmint, tastes blue. Wheras normal mint, well that just tastes white.

I need a hug.


Blogger Nicole said...


Poor birdie. I wonder if those "noise cancelling headphones" would work. They supposedly can make it seem like complete silence when you wear them by emitting frequencies that cancel out any noise in your area. I've tried them on airplanes, and they seem pretty neat. But I don't know that they go loud enough to help you. =(

I feel your pain, though. I live next to some Mexicans who can be quite loud when they want to. I get to listen to their music a lot, and them yelling at each other and honking horns to get people still in the apartment to hurry up... Very annoying. But not quite so frequent at your Greeks.

Hope it gets better.

4:37 pm  
Blogger Charlie said...


They sound truely horrible. In all honesty I would have laid into them buy now, not only that but I would have complained numerous times to the point where whoever I complain to I just say one word: "noise".

I never considered that I might not get along with people on my corridor (I'm going into halls if I get my own way). Roommate yes, that could be fixed.

*hugs again*

6:43 pm  
Blogger Mike Moore said...

Funny, I moved out of a place recently because the neihbours were asses and partied all the time. Ugh, the torture of it all. My kids couldn't sleep and I nearly hit one of them. I soooo wanted to, but dislike the idea of going to jail because of noisy bastards. They would also smoke dope and it would come upstairs through the register in my bedroom.

So, there is me, trying to sleep with earplugs that barely work, with ear canals that ache and then I get a good dose of hippy lettuce.

Ah, what memories.

You're a girl though. You won't go to jail (probably anyways) if you beat down one of them. Just something to think about *laugh* although I'm in no way condoning the use of violence.

Okay, not much anyways. Just planting the seed.

6:48 pm  

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