Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Daddy Long Legs

Help me. I'm being invaded by bugs. Clever bugs, at that.

Last night, I accidentally left my window open, and went out for quite a few hours. I live on the third floor, and the window only opens about four inches, so there's no danger. But that was enough time for me to acquire some new friends.

You know those bugs, that people call Daddy Long Legs? Stupid name. But I don't know the official name. Anyway, I have managed to attract two of them into my room. It's now the day after.

I got annoyed with the buffeting around my bedroom all night when I was sleeping, making noise, so today upon discovering them when I woke up, I went up to my curtains (which are always closed) and opened my window again, hoping that they would be clever enough to go back out the way they came in. I forgot that I wasn't wearing that much, and shoved the curtains closed immediately. I told the bugs I'd be back, went and found some more clothes, and went to check whether they had left the premises. No such luck. They refused to acknowledge the open window, preferring to throw themselves against my bedroom walls, to high up for me to reach, goddamn stupid bugs. That was several hours ago.

I asked my friend whether they bite, and she said no, but that they were poisonous when swallowed. I felt somewhat better, because although they were pissing me off, I did not plan to swallow them in self defence.

They're really creepy..they are all legs and they've these really long proboscis things that you can see, and I don't know what they do with them! Wouldn't you be cautious of a creature with a mouthpart bigger than it's head? It's unnatural! And there were two of them! One big and one small. And they can be quite big buggers too, you know.

So I spent quite a few hours waiting patiently for them to find their own way out. No such luck. Eventually I got so annoyed, I took a tea towel to them and beat them behind the curtains, so that the only way that they could go, was out the window. I then left them for a while.

...I came back, to find both of them stuck to the closed window, now moving. Sigh. So I left them again.

I left them, until I noticed the big one shoot upwards, over the top of the curtains, and back into my bedroom. Exasperated, I went and opened the curtains, upon which the second bug flew right out and smacked me in the forehead. I kid you not.

I jumped back, had a small outburst of rage, and stomped off to turn off the lights. I did so, and stood with my finger on the light switch for a minute, inwardly going 'Aha! You've got no where to go but outside now!' Oh I was very proud.

...and then after about two minutes, I got really bored, and put the lights back on again. Then, I noticed that one of the buggers was on my floor. Where I could reach him.

I pondered between killing him, and capturing him, for a few seconds. If I killed him, I could definately make him go away...but it was too easy, he was just sitting there. With his back to me, no less. 'S not honourable. (don't get me wrong though, if he was a wasp, I woulda been like **SMACK!!**) But anyway, I decided to capture him. I swooped on him with a glass and an essay, and captured his buggy arse. I walked him to the window, held the glass out the window, removed the essay, and shook him out..

Upon which, he executed a perfect U Turn, and flew right back into my room.

I am not joking.

I think I swore rather loudly, apologies to anyone below my window. All the while the bigger one resumed throwing his body against my bedroom walls. I don't know where the small one is now. Probably hiding amongst the clothes in my wardorbe, going "Har de har de har!" really quietly.

What the fark is it with these bluddy bugs? And why, why why why, did they go into my room when I was out in the first place?? The window is open four inches, and the lights are off, but somehow, two of them find their way from outside, into my bedroom, when they have the ENTIRE WORLD to fly around in?



I want them out, because if I don't get them out, they will die, and then they will fall somewhere where I can't see them and then there will be buggy corpses in my room and I will know that they are there but not know where they are and I will go mad. Like they do in the stories.


Blogger Nicole said...

I think they flew into your room with the whole purpose of making you mad. See? It's working. And every time you try to fix it, they do something to thwart you.

Plus, they hit you on the forehead. That's just a buggy way of asking someone to be mad at you.

7:46 pm  

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