Tuesday, July 25, 2006


"Do you ever wonder what it would be like to not exist?"


"That's a shame. Not at all?"

"N - Oh wait a second, do you mean, do I ever wonder what it would be like if I were to suddenly, inexplicably, irreversably just - cease to exist? To stop, and not start again? To cease to be? To one second be part of this karmical cosmic force that we call life (for the sake of simplicity), and to take solace in the fact that, I, am instigating a reaction to every single one of my actions, and (in accordance with the laws of Physics) in turn, fortifying the very notion that I, do, on some level, exist? And the next second, just, well, not?"

"Yes! Exactly that."




"I do."


"Wonder what it would be like to not exist. I think it would be nice, sometimes."

"Well that's just stupid. You can't sometimes exist and sometimes not. You either do, or you don't."

"Shame. Well I think I would like to stop. Existing I mean."

"Well it won't happen by you just wishing on it."

"Oh no?"

"No. An infinity of nos, in fact."

"Let's try it."

"Let's not."


"I said, let's not."


"Oh dear god, you're trying aren't you."


"Look I know you still exist, you ponce, I can see your full stops."


"Is it working yet?"


"It actually worked?"


"Oh god it actually worked, he's figured out how to go about ceasing one's own existence utilising naught but the power of his own mind and the untapped reserves of his brain that have as of yet been unexplored by the rest of mere humanity and I am in fact talking to myself."



"So sorry, was waiting to sneeze."

"Jolly good."

"Where were we?"

"I dunno, it's your dialogue."

"I was not existing."

"No, you were existing, you could still see your punctuation marks."



"I bet I could, you know."


"Not exist. I think it would be nice. I can remember what it was like. It was peaceful."

"No you can't. That's rubbish. No one can remember what it was like before they didn't exist. That's physically impossible."

"Well I can!"

"O rly?"

"Ya rly."

"You know, in standing here, nattering incessently to me, you are by a great and inadvertant misfortune, proving nothing but the all consuming fact that YOU DO EXIST and that all the holding your breath in the world will not change that fact. And also; NO WAI."

"What do you know, you're just one side of an internal running dialogue!"

"So are you!"


"I thought so."




Do the voices in your head ever spark up their own running dialogue? Mine totally don't.

Oh god I can't wait to get away from here and go back to University and perhaps pretend to have a noticeable purpose.

i was sitting in a u bend, thinking about death




it was nice, but, she's dead now

Emelnaerty, my daer Wsaton





Blogger Nicole said...

Only you, my dear Raevyn. Only you.

11:23 pm  

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