Thursday, April 30, 2009

Ohmygodnotthepoetry

I know that we’re no longer close
But there’s something you should know
You touched my heart in so many ways
Though I could never let it show
I know that I’m not worth your time
I can see it when we talk
But, girl, you just don’t understand
How much it hurts to see you walk
I know that we don’t hang out as much
But you really need to see
My world is gone, it’s fallen to pieces
Without you next to me
I spent so many months without you
I had to go my own way
But when I tried to walk alone
I'd break down and cry each day
I learned to close my heart away
And lock it up so tight
I learned to keep it from your kind
Who wouldn’t treat it right
We started talking just last month
And my happiness fell apart
I learned that you were over me
And that you’d never want my heart.

For if this can never be, I will confess I must profess
I can no longer see, why I must stay a part of this
This world that I am bound to, by beating heart broken apart
But no desire to be found too. Too sad to live, too scared to die
I live by chance not will. Why I do not rest in a plot
I simply cannot lie. I tried, I failed, to try again,
Takes strength that I don’t have. But now no drive keeps me alive
I cannot bear the pain. Of sadness, morning, day, and night
My mind it starts to wane. If Death visited me now, I would not fight
But would instead accept the end. I long, I long, to see the light
For it my grief will mend. Because she never meant to hurt you
The angels want me to cry, And although this all seems untrue,
This devil deserves to die.

In the shadows in the night
Is everywhere that dreamers lie
Everything they ever wanted
Ascending upwards to the sky.
For so long I have lied with them
Dreaming, praying for one thing
Seeming just beyond my grasp
It is one and everything.
Everything I ever wanted
Everything I ever need
Everything inside of you
I love with all inside of me.
It’s everything that matters
It’s everything I want
It’s everything I live for
I’m praying for your love.
It’s everything worth fighting for
It’s everything that gets me through
It’s everything I swear I’d die for
All the love I have for you.
Everything I’d give it all for
Everything I want to be
All I want and not a bit more
Everything you need to see.
It’s everything I wish at night for
Everything I’m dreaming of
Everything I need here with me
Praying, wishing for your love.
It’s everything I’m missing
It’s left me incomplete
I want to share it all with you
The love that rests inside of me.
Everything I’m dreaming for
Everything I’ll ever need
My love for you is everything
Now I pray you will love me.

I stared at a knife last night
Imagined the feel of tempered steel
Slipping through arterial tubes.
I tried to care last night
A reason to stay awake and smile
To make my heart beat anew.
I tried to forget last night
To bury the memories I'd yet to make
In a foggy haze of drink.
I watched a spider last night
Crawling across my kitchen floor.
A distraction that probably saved my life,
And kept me breathing one day more.

One can really tell that one has gone quite mad when the poesy appears.

Oh, dear.

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