Tuesday, October 06, 2009

The Raevyn Reviews Enchanted.

Enchanted - The most offensive Disney film since..that black centaur in Fantasia?

Father and daughter in car. Father hands daughter a birthday present. Is book.

Child: “What the crap is this?”

Father: “It’s a book. A book about great women of the past. Female military leaders, great female thinkers, writers, philosophers, inventors, activists, martyrs, etc.”

Child: “Don’t be stupid. Women don’t exist outside of a castle and they don’t do anything outside of waiting for their prince to come along and rescue them from their horrible and intolerable middle class life.”

Father: “I know that’s both an easy and logical misconception to make, but I swear it’s not true. Women do all kinds of things. They work, they change the world, and sometimes they even have original thoughts.”

Child: *sneer.*

Father: “Really! There used to be these women, these incredible women who risked their lives just for the right to suggest that women should be equal citizens.”

Child: *sneer sneer sneer*

Father: "And then one of them made history by throwing themselves under a horse just to raise awareness for the plight of women.”

Child: *sneerity sneer sneer...sneer*

Father: “And ever since then, women have had the right to vote.”

Child: “Vo – ote? Are you crazy? Now give me a tiara.”

*thud*

Father: “Fuck the suffragettes! There’s a DISNEY PRINCESS!!!”

Songs include -

‘Happy working song’ (Vermin are a good thing).

‘How does she know you love her?’ (merchandise equals love).

‘I’ve been dreaming of a true love’s kiss’ (not everyone who works in musicals is gay).

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